Small people exist everywhere you go. You’ll encounter them every day. They’re the ones who don’t think. They’re the ones who, unknowingly, make you feel something that you don’t want to feel. Often times well after an encounter with such a person may dwell in your thoughts about what they said or did to upset you. Churning it over and over, getting, more and more upset with them. Thinking about how you’re going to get back at them, what you really want to say. This is tantamount to allowing them to live in your head without paying rent. You’re actually paying the rent for them by expending the energy required to think all of these negative thoughts.
Stop letting them live there rent-free. Start charging them. Go and ask them for money to compensate you for the energy they’re using. I guarantee that this idea is so ridiculous you’ll chuckle at it. So if asking for payment is ridiculous, how ridiculous is it for you to think these thoughts in the first place.
Did you know that no one can make you think anything you don’t want to think? That’s right. You are in control of 100% of your thinking. Here’s what happens.
Our thoughts create our feelings, our feelings create our actions, and our actions create our results. If you allow someone else’s emotional state to affect your way of thinking, you start acting like them, and you get their results. Is that what you want? Chances are that the initial thought you had about the circumstance of your encounter with that person created an emotional reaction and your thoughts started to get carried away by that emotional state. Next thing you know you’re talking and acting just like they are. Then things escalate and the next thing you know that person is living in your head for days or even weeks.
How do you avoid this did I hear you ask? It’s simple. Don’t get emotionally involved. Objectively look at the circumstance and ask yourself, “What can I learn from this?”. When you become aware of your emotional state, you can simply say, “I don’t like what I’m feeling. I’m obviously thinking thoughts of a negative nature.” and switch what you’re thinking about. Feel empathy for the person who might be ranting at you. Forgive them for not thinking, because they really don’t know how to think. Change their thinking by asking them why they feel that way. Ask them why they think what they think 3 or 4 times and you’ll get to the root of the issue. Then you can help them change perspective and now you have a new friend.
It takes practice to become aware of your emotional state. It takes discipline to change your thinking. It’s not hard to do.
There are methods and exercises you can practice to help you get rid of those negative thoughts and evict the people that live in your head. Ask me about them.